Grey is a colour

On Article 377 and related discussions -

There exists a small group for whom the sexual orientation is different from the majority.That is how they are made and that is the 'order of nature' for them. It is time we accept it and have a  more inclusive policy or law to include the section in the mainstream of the society.

We need a more studied classification and research on the why and how of the orientation though ; than having the LGBT community ( Lesbian , Gay , Bisexual, Transgender ) under a single umbrella and laws should also be formulated or modified accordingly.

Marriage - is more of personal choice - a matter of human rights and civil rights that should be granted to all.
Having said that I do have reservations on the 'Child Adoption policy' when it comes to families formed of the LGBT community - for the interests of the children involved .It cannot be considered a natural norm as they were not born naturally in the family and is against the 'order of nature' for them.

( to be edited... )

I had a dream -
You were there -
I kept talking to you - for it was long
But you were mum - as mum as dump

I thought you were listening - and so was mum
I looked down to see you walking away-
Slowly but steadily
Vanishing into my thoughts-
From there to my fears -
-my hopes - my self - you were gone.

Ikan Bilis and Nuts

Came across this snack of Singapore and liked it.It is called 'Ikan Bilis and Nuts'. 'Ikan Bilis - nammude kozhuvaya..the small , whitish fish , popularly used in Kerala as fried fish or in  'Puliela chuttath'.

So 'Ikan Bilis and Nuts' is nothing but 'Kozhuva varuthathum nelakadalayum' . The combination tasted good and can be made as a snack in dry form or as a  side dish for rice when roasted in oil with onion,garlic,green chilies, tomatoes and curry leaves ( the usual tadka ). I came across this as a packed snack in an exhibition in singapore expo and the girl at the billing counter said she wanted to open it and have - so it is a very popular snack here. Give it a try when you you want to taste something different.

Happy Onam...!

You are the only one that bloomed in my garden....so persist ! Happy Onam !

The month that went by...

                                                           

July ended with my Mom's retirement after working for more than 35 years ; there was a small get-together at home when her colleagues came to drop her home on her last working day and I wanted to be there since her getting back home from work was one of those moments that I looked forward to ; every day of my life ,until I left home for college. I travelled to Sweden with mon the next day from Cochin.

The month of August that went by was a hectic , eventful one with lot of packing , travelling , reunions , separations and emotionally charging moments.

 I was meeting my husband and my son was seeing his dad after 4 months. My lil one was a lovely champ throughout the flight keeping himself busy with the painting book and colour pencils that the airlines provided.It did not take him a moment to gel well with his Pappa.The week that followed was mostly travelling when we went to Paris and Swiss. The next week we were at Almhult - a tiny hamlet in South Sweden where my husband is placed since March. Almhult is known for IKEA and Carl Linneaus - the father of Botany.

Returning back was tough...couldn't complete my morning prayers the day we started -couldn't control my tears and prayers stumbled in my mouth. The most difficult time was in the airport ; from the time we got in the queue for security check. Mon was crying uncontrollably and it was only then that he realised that his dad wouldn't be travelling with him back home.

I know that is a lot of updates in a short post ... Shall try to pen down in detail of the travel and the places we saw as time and mind permits...

Story of life...

"...in the story of life, if it is being told true to time as actually experienced , then I would say seventy percent of the book would take you to age ten.
At eighty percent you would have reached fifteen.At ninty five percent you would reach to about thirty. The rest is a rush to eternity....."

An except from Doris Lessings autobiography 'Under my skin' -  I loved the lines especially the last one ...and somewhere I realise I'm in that rush to eternity :)

Read

Thanks to Preeti's post..I completed a book in 6 hours. A Self help book of around 200 pages ; 'If you think you can ' by TJ Hosington is a great read;  that interleaves 13 laws with practical steps and real life examples to form a symphony of success. Review here...

Aidenkuttan's elephants....!!!

Njan enna varakkane Immi...?

Hmmm...Aana...Aanane parayane Elephant...

An elephant with an eye, 4 kaal , 1 thumbikkai , 1 vaal...:)

Ivde 2 Aana...:)

Learning Champion !

Attended a  two day workshop on 'Learning Champion' program. It was a great one after a long time. The best part of it was I was in office by 08:30 and I could do that after around 2 years I would say...without the slightest exaggeration .

The workshop was on facilitation skills and and on the second day of the workshop , each of us was given a chance to facilitate a workshop -a short duration one - on our topic of interest. I chose 'Cancer Awareness' (Shall publish a post on it soon !) .

Though I fumbled for words , I looked scared , emotional - I enjoyed preparing for it, I enjoyed answering questions and I enjoyed spreading awareness :).

Blast...!

An Email Chain :

A : Heard some blast happened in bangalore ?

B: ya ..ya...even I heard and read ....in Malleshwaram near BJP office.
Security has been beefed up in Banaglore with Secuity people...checking the car to check for bombs in hunchbacks...nothing else to notice here as such.
Hope the bombs don't blast in our lifes with the steps that I'm taking with my career.
If you have noticed or otherwise....lot of compromises on my part from last July.
I don't know where I'm going to....listening to whatever you are saying...and at the end...it will be all 'MY money' for you and I will have to beg you even for a mobile recharge.
And also comments like- 'I knew you would come...which girl can say a NO to onsite and things '
Hope I don't blast !

A:

My Dear B,
Be Happy that you are still working and is working on your area of strength. All these sacrifices are to make sure that we make some good money in our early days so that we can relax later.  Also we need to spend our good days together not scattered across the world.

Your career is as important to me as it is for you. I don't have a background like *** to make you leave the job and ask you to take care of household activities. Even if i had also i would not have asked coz i consider my wife as my best friend not a slave.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little less than 4 years into marriage , I 'm confident to take my husband's love for granted and it is ok even if he doesn't buy me anything or call me or even wish me on my/our special occasions . ( not that he doesn't)
But there are times when I want to shout to him  'I LOVE YOU my dear ' from the depth of my heart.
The moment I read this reply from him for this arrogant mail of mine was one of those.
I love you my dear and thank god for you are mine :).
Husbands are better than wives ...is it :)

It Hurts !

It Hurts...!


I'm not stone...neither am I paper
to hit and be torn,
I'm a being - a being as alive and full of life ..as you are.

You can abuse..so can you scold,
but be sure - It hurts and burns,
For , I'm a being - a being as alive and full of life ..as you are.

I can turn and walk back bold,
but be sure - I'll with love return,
I'm a being - a being as alive and full of life ..as you are

Realisation....

As I was reading through some beautiful blog posts , like this one I was just realising that I too am blessed with a lot of positive , lovely, cherishing moments in life which I fail to capture or write about.
Moments that  rejuvenate me ...moments that add colours to my life. Let me try if I can be more deligent in capturing these moments - before they fade away...

As I turn another decade of my life !

I turned 30 yesterday....Ohh ...good 30 years of life...that just flew.

A call from home , another from my love , a day at church, a hug and kiss from my boy - that was all for the day.No big(?) resolutions this time  - I'm a more practical person now.
As someone (?) rightly said ' Alice in Wonderland '  is falling back to earth and I hope she has already landed on earth. I'm a happy person with what I've and what I don't - and that is all it matters.

The Wrath Continues....

When I posted the last post , I was kind of relieved that the LOCK episode was over and I would soon join a project. But things went for a chnace again when on Monday the P M of the project that selected me called me up to say that they were not able to tag me since the LOCK was still present. He said that he was unable to UNLOCK it in spite of having selecte me and was unsure how to proceed and asked me to call the HR myself.

I was shocked - What is this happening in an IT company.

I called up the HR and this is how Ms G replied , voice raised and harsh as usual ( I really want to see this G to know how she manages to be so very non-understanding and rude  ) - " Anu , I have been telling you from the very beginning that we would not be able to help you if the project team is not supportive. This manager seems to be not particularly interested in you ( I really wanted to ask her what she meant by this particular interest ). We had asked him for some project details and explained to him the process for the same. He has not come back with the details yet. Please ask him to provide the details. I don't know how he handles delivery. (I understood this lady was rude by her very nature and belittles everyone she talks about )"

I was taken aback what she was asking me - it was actually asking me to do what she was supposed to do !!!

I called up the PM to know that there were few technical issues in gettng my SAP movement done and said that he would let me know when the movement is done.

All this just reinforced to me that " Never take anything for granted in the IT world . All that actually matters is your skillset and how you market it "

HR Wrath...?

Have you ever heard of HR wrath in an IT company...I had heard ;  but experienced it in the last few days of working, in a company that I have been part of for more than 7 years now. I was in free pool ( bench) for the last 2 months  - looking for projects in Sweden, where my husband is planning to travel in the next couple of days. I was communicating this to all the HR people who were contacting me for getting me projects - none of them said a 'NO' but,  all replied that they would try and let me know if they came across  any suitable openings - well, good-understanding people I thought , until one fine morning I received a  mail from Ms.G asking me to call her for a discussion. Oh, Maybe they have finally found out something for me in Sweden - too innocent a thought for these crooks( excuse me).

 I tried calling Ms.G - but when she dint pick up , dropped her a message saying I was so and so - you had asked to call ( naive ). " I will call back" replied Ms.G . Professional - I thought.

Finally she calls me after sometime - and there began the saga of typical ( yes G seemed to be very used with delivering these ) dialogue exchange.

Ms.G : " So you are in free pool for this long a time - why ?"
I narrated  my full story including the e-mail confirmations that I had got regarding HR looking for projects in Sweden for me .( This never happens and only thing that can happen is you spread your wings , use your contacts and look out for something yourself - maximum that they will do is to tag you once you find something for yourself and if they are not in a  position to do anything against you ).

Ms.G's tone and sound changes ( She seemed trained in doing this ): " Don't you know you have agreed to work in any location in your appointment letter and now I have a resource (after all,  that is all that I am ) who is willing to go to Sweden but not to Chennai "

I replied that I would have looked for a transfer to Chennai if my husband was in Chennai and that it was about keeping my family together.And I ask her what is it that can be done to confirm that there is no opportunity in Sweden before I decide to take up anything elsewhere.

Ms G: " I have no clue - try contacting Mr B. Anyway I don't think it is possible now since there is a 'TED LOCK' on your profile and we cannot wait for any longer. All of us have personal reasons - why don't you take a  break and put your papers for now.I should know an answer by tomorrow this time - as a company you cannot be paid for longer than this without work "

I was literally shocked - I had not thought of leaving my job yet - it was just that I was looking for a suitable  opportunity.

I wrote a mail to Mr B who forwards the mail to C,D and F from whom there is no response at all even after two days.

It was  'National strike' the next day and I call up my Manager who handles few accounts in Sweden and I get to know that there is nothing in Sweden for now and he gives me another contact who also seems to not reply to e-mails.

Day 3 : Ms G calls up . " I did not call you yesterday. What is your decision ?"

I tell her that I was not going to put my papers and that I was open to projects in Bangalore.

Ms G: " You have no time now. You do not have any projects in hand and when you get billed. And since there is a  ted lock against your profile you cannot be proposed for any projects now "

I explain to her that I did not attend any interviews because I had been looking for something specific and I was confident that I would get selected if I attended any interviews. She keeps the phone telling that she maynot be able to help me get the LOCK released.

She calls me the next day , " Do you check your emails ? There was a mail to you asking you to take up an assignment with WALMART - what is the status?" I reply to her taht I'm not able to recollect the exact e-mail because there have been many e-mails that I've been replying to.

To this she again raises her voice and tells that I don't even track my e-mails.

At this, I lost my cool and clarified to her that , it was just that I didnot remember at the moment about that specific e-mail and tht I would check and let her know. I later checked the e-mail that she was referring to. It was a mail that had come about 2 weeks back asking me to contact a manager in WALMART and to work with him for a  month before getting billed. I had actually forwarded tht mail to the said manager and asked him for a  convenient time for meeting - which he had not replied to. I forwards the mail to Ms G and she seemed happy with it .

I started looking out for projects in my technical area . Got few calls  and cleared the technical discussion for two of them and they ask for the TED LOCK to be released before proposing for the client interview. I call Ms G several times before she answer my call to tell that she would not be able to help.

I was thankfully proposed for the client interview of one of them before the LOCK RELEASE  and I cleared that. I call Ms.G several times .No Reply. No Call back.

Later after a day , the Project Manager of the account that selected me calls up to tell that the LOCK would be released in a  day or two.

What was the role of HR in my case?

Terrorize me to leave the company. Not even bothered to look into the reasons - genuineness behind the reasons- for not taking up projects.

They could not help me lookout for projects in my preferred location - I feel they didnot even try.

All this from the HR of a company that I have worked for the last 7+ years.
Stopping for now. Running out of time .People in the IT World - Save YOUR SELF :)

A face that keeps coming back...

Times are not innumerable - neither are they occasional - when her face has flashed my mind in the last two years of having met her. Her innocent smile and beautiful eyes keep talking to me.

I met her in one of those few interviews that I attended - in search of a  job and we spoke for not more than ten minutes that day and two or three times after that on phone . I no longer have her contact number neither am I sure if I will ever meet her . But the thoughts around her keep lingering in my mind and hurts me deep at times.

She looked gorgeous- a typical south Indian Brahmin girl with sharp features and modest dressing. She looked tensed than most others in the hall waiting for their chance for the interview. I noticed her as she quickly flipped the pages of the book that she carried trying to memorise or refresh the concepts of PL/SQL - the programming language of Oracle. It was later when I was lost in some thoughts  that she suddenly came near me and asked - " Do you know what are the new features in Oracle 11i". I gave  a  blank face when she asked me what my experience was. I am not sure why she chose to talk to me - probably just that I looked approachable to her. She told me that she did not have  a job currently and that she was badly in need of one. I asked her "Why ?" and this one question was enough for her to pour out her story to me. the story that she told me was sad...and that probably is the reason that it keeps coming back to my mind.

She was working for a  software company when her parents found a  match for her and got her married. But her marriage life did not go fine - Her husband seem to not like her and left her with her parents. She wanted to stay with him - being the only daughter for middle class parents , she did not want to bother them. So she forcefully returned to her husband and was staying with him but 'separate'. She also told me that she feared if she would be killed - Oh my God....I really did not know what to do- how to help. I managed to ask her to go and be with her parents - at least her life is not at risk.. which she agreed.

She was shattered and I could still sense the sadness in her eyes, the pace at which she talked and her movements. Everything was slightly erratic...when suddenly she said " I'm on medicines for tension and sleep. I need this job to keep going".

I was called in for the interview and we did not meet again .She had called me once or twice to check if there was any opening in the company that I worked for. I lost her number when I moved out from Bangalore but her face keeps coming back to me. Hope you are fine my friend !